Concert Review: DMX @ SOB's 2/23/12

There's a venue in New York City located at 204 Varick Street called S.O.B.'s that will probably not show up in any more Jay Porks Experiences... We're here for DMX's Return To New York City Presented by Ghetto Metal ( Twitter: @ghettometal) tonight. The SOLD OUT S.O.B.'s I should say, as the tickets for this 400 person capacity venue are gone. I remember in High School circa 2000 when I was introduced to DMX in a music class-not by the teacher but by an obnoxious kid sitting back rock with headphones on reciting the lyrics live from I.S. 75. I mean, if you're going to be screaming lyrics out in class, I think those were the most explicit one's you could have picked at the time.. The delinquent was booted from class, and I found myself adding another artist to that “Handful of Hip Hop Artists I would go See live” list. So the 65th installment of the Jay Porks Never Ending Concert Series brings back memories of Slaughterhouse last year , at SOB's, (which at the time I considered) an awesome venue. Just a big room: Bar in the back, a stage that's literally three steps up from the ground, dinner seating to the left of the stage, and the back stage area being downstairs-which leads the artists to no choice but to come through the crowd to enter. Awesome. I mean, the only way this night can go bad, is if there's like 40 unnamed openers that perform til midnight. Whatever “Ghetto Metal” means, I'm pretty sure that whatever happens tonight, my buddy Chach (@oneshotchach) gets the blame for dragging me to this one. Doors at 7:30, show is at 9PM.

We get in, go up against the stage next to the the stairs leading up to it. Cool. Good spot. TONS of press here, I mean everywhere I looked someone's got one of those thousand dollar cameras. I mean the whole shebang-the flash extension thing-a-ma-bobs attached to Nikon's and Canon's surrounding this room. For a place with no special press area, I was puzzled. Then Chach informed me of DMX's interview on Power 105.1 earlier this morning (video above) which I just watched and now totally understand the hype now.

So here's something unexpected: instruments on stage. Drums and amps set up for, like, a band. Maybe this is the “Ghetto Metal” they're talking about. And another shocker, show is said to start at 9PM, and a band hit the stage at 8:04. Cool, let's get this started early, is this 'Bazaar Royal'? They're the only opener listed. No it isn't at all. It's a band called “Murder League All Stars”. Make fun of the name all you want, but 30 seconds into their first song they were already better then Limp Bizkit-True Story. They had a bassist, guitarist and drummer rocking out while a two man lyrical attack that had the funky rhymes a la Beastie Boys combined with a splash of band like the Deftones. Both guys were rapping, but they were also screaming at heavy volume at times too. Me, Chach, and the photographer chick representing The Source magazine were really digging them...

The next band up, still pre-9pm, was, and forgive me for the botching of the name I was really being pushed out of my spot during this time towards like, behind the DJ rig where I was going to have zero video chances. I think it was “A the Future Featuring A.D.D.”. Back up singers on stage, another guitar player and drummer, along with a violinist, and a female up front singer who's hot. Then the lead singer/rapper dude comes out in a 'Misfits' jacket. They were groovy too, but what the hell is happening here? I'm in the right place right-this is the DMX show? At Hip Hop shows I always feel like I'm out of my field of connoisseurship, but this felt like the norm to me. They played a few quick ones because noted that they were off at 9..

Right during this break they're setting up another bands gear on stage and we're wondering if this is like, maybe the back up band for DMX or something, because obviously Bazaar Royal must not be playing, we've already seen two bands. It's at this point I'm beyond the point were I can see the stage, as people who have no concert manners like to shove themselves to the front with little regard to the people who stood outside over an hour and have been standing in this spot for an hour and a half already after coming here straight from a 11-4 waiter shift... People almost got punched tonight, but this when I told Chach I'm gonna stray towards the back for DMX scout a better spot while he snaps shots on his iPhone.

So we wait, and we wait and then at 10 o'clock Bazaar Royal comes on. And if this dude doesn't even deserve my words but I'll have them none the less. First let me say that everybody in the band backing Bazaar Royal was tight as freaking hell. They did some cool stuff, a six stringed bassist. Open letter to those musicians: Get away from that guy. Every time you started to nod your head with the band this dude's obscure voice ruined every song. Not Eddie Vedder ruined, but I really don't get what he's trying to do, and I don't think he does either. Before the last song, chants of D-M-X started, and his repsonse was “Hey! Show some fucking respect! Because I'll keep you waiting. If you don't like my music you can find me downstairs or outside..” That's not exact but it's the jist. Is he implying that I should fight him if I don't like his music? First of all, you have no talent. Second off, you have ZERO taste in music and I can tell. The DMX chants started right after him and his band did a cover of Kings of Leon “Use Somebody”. And I'm not talking “hip hop sampled and made a new song out of it” cover-the band played it straight. I should've gotten that on video, it would've been viral for sure- but I was too busy screaming at the top of my lungs: “Holy F#&king God ARE YOU SERIOUSLY PLAYING KINGS OF LEON RIGHT NOW!?!” repeated to everyone surrounding me. People I know(not by choice), who don't like Hip Hop even for a second have told me that the perception is that their fans have bad taste in music. Well, when these fans heard Kings Of Leon being covered, the whole building knew it was about time for this dude to bounce. So Bazaar Royale, or Royal or whatever the hell it is . Don't you EVER disrespect people at a concert for wanting to the headliner. You mentioned how you been with DMX since day one and all that stuff-yet I've never heard your name in life dude-and I listen to a lot of music. You have the nerve to step on a soap box (metaphorically) and annoy the hell out of the 400+ people the squeezed into this place. This schmuck didn't go off til 10:50.

That's when I high tailed it outside to smoke a cig, and I noticed that if the fire Marshall showed up he's shut this place down. I can't even get out the door. Finally did and a dude leaning against the door asked me if I needed any Heroin. What the hell goes on with life?? I got away from him quick and got back in to eventually find a spot on the same side of the room but in the back, I'm probably 20-30 heads back from Chach at this point, and any videos I want to take are blocked by tall people. My arm hurts.

For the last two paragraphs of stuff that annoyed me, this night was a serious win. I mean I was having a great time for those first two bands, and at 11:38 the night go that much better, when there he arose from the basement: DMX!

Kicked things off with “One More Road To Cross”.Now this is fun. The whole vibe of this place is shifted. We're all here looking at the stage and seeing DMX perform for the first time in New York in years. A lot of us first timers, he did nothing short of give SOB's everything he had. Pulled Swiss Beatz up for a few tracks including “Ruff Ryders anthem” and “Get it on the Floor”. Rumors had it that the Lox and Drag-On were downstairs set to appear, but that didn't matter. We're getting the DMX greatest hits set here. As much as my arm hurt from stretching it up for my camera, and as annoyed as I would normally be when people sway their hands in my way-when “Party Up” came on I was glad Chach dragged me to this. “Lord Gimmie A Sign” and “What They Really Want” were crowd pleasers.

Let's not underestimate the humor of DMX. I mean, he was smiling, cracking jokes, passing around a bottle of Hennesy to the crowd and telling everyone to “Sip and pass”. Also the way he talks, with the growl serving as periods on sentences Awesome. Another phrase that was scream out by DMX throughout the evening “Flesh of my FLESHHHHH” (before he would do a song off of the “Flesh of my Flesh, Blood of my Blood” record). And “It is NOTTT a F#%king GAME!!”. While the set was reaching it's end I heard people behind me talking. They were chatting between songs and the beat came on for the next one and the dude says to his friend “Wow DMX has SO MANY great songs!”. To quote Ed McMahon “You are correct sir”. The night ended in the darkness when X instructed the house lights be turned off and everyone hold up ligthers and cell phones, and that's when he ended the evening with “Slippin'” I clocked it at a 12:56AM ending.

Can't ask for anymore then that. See, when I went to see Joe Budden at Irving Plaza he rapped like one verse a song and they'd switch the beat up and stuff like we're listening to the radio or something. DMX came to SOB's and left it all on stage. He was certainly not just going through the motions. It was a great show.

I'll hopefully have some more video uploaded before the day's end, I got some queued up.. thanks for tuning in.

LATE

Review: The Darkness w/ Foxy Shazam 2/4/12 Irving Plaza

On the same evening that New York Jets Running Back Curtis Martin get's elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame, can you believe that's only the second best thing that happened today? Well, The 64th installment of the Jay Pork Never Ending Concert Series may have had something to do with that. Tonight brings us to Irving Plaza in NYC for an epic evening with The Darkness! Along with Foxy Shazam (Which 'thenaturalstoner' praises for their latest stellar release), and I believe some other band they threw on the card that will be named in the next paragraph or so. This is great for so many reasons. First trip back to Irving Plaza since the Joe Budden debacle, and as I recall I noted to show up earlier this time and make it a must to get a better spot. Irving Plaza is also the venue me and my friend Pam scalped the fake Alice In Chains tickets and got beat on 100 bucks. Bad things have happened here. But, it's the freaking Darkness! A band that people don't know til you sing them the chorus from “I Believe In A Thing Called Love”, and even then they snort in derision. “You're going to see that band?”. Yea actually I am. I can recall actually having a professor of mine at the College of Staten Island last semester breakdown the Epicness of the Darkness to some classmate who claimed they were a “one hit wonder”. That teacher said he'll be in attendance tonight, and I will be looking for him(Brian Cogan author of many books available on Amazon, including the “Encyclopedia of Punk”). So there's that and hey, it's our first 2012 show-time to get back in the swing of things. I kicked it off huge last year with GWAR, and I expect The Darkness deliver as well (Well, except the “one of the guys in the band dying” part anyway). So let's get this show on the road shall we?

So after freezing outside on a line for about an hour, they decided to open the doors. I happened to be standing next to a couple outside who I got to chatting it up with. Totally cool people, it was all laughs and talking past show experiences. Love that shit. And it was either Connecticut or New Hampshire they were from I can't remember because I'm a terrible friend. But I know they were in a hotel and I know they were nice enough to warm me up with some of their Jagermeister while we waited for doors to open. Awesome. Finally some people who are friendly! I'm standing next to someone who says there is a second opener in addition to Foxy Shazam. I'm sure as hell hope not. Anyway I was able to snag a standing room spot upstairs, so video is happening tonight (we hope).

At 9 on the dot, a band fronted by a guy wearing rainbow zebra pants hit the stage. This band turned out to be Crown Jewel Defense- they've been on tour with Darkness overseas they say, and by the looks of their wardrobe I believe them. These guys look like before they formed this band they played as a Darkness cover band the way everyone's pants hugging testicles. I mean, these guys aren't that bad- they're tight as a band. This guy has painted lines under his eyes like a Native American chief or something. What the hell goes on with life? A whole 24 minutes of their set went by fairly quickly, before the last song there was chants of "No more songs!" from the Irving Plaza crowd. Wasn't me this time I swear.

Foxy Shazam came out at 9:40, and were totally freaking cool from the get go. Lead singer grabs the microphone and says: “I know Rock and Roll is dead but that doesn't mean we can't dance with it's fucking ghost!!”. Hell yes! THIS is a band I can get into. They kicked it off with a song called “The Only Way to My Heart”-you had me at “The”! The lead singer jumps on the lead guitarist's shoulders as he's playing his little solo part, humps the back of his head. They got what I thought was hydraulic keyboards going on over there, but that was just the dude enjoying lifting it and moving it into obscure angles, including upside down to end the set. He was standing (and stomping) on that keyboard for a while there. Their lead singer is something else. All over the place, crazy swinging the mic-stand around and catching it.. Little bit of Iggy in him,

you know, minus the blood and peanut butter. During the set he asked if anyone in the crowd has a cigarette, he was tossed one with a light and lit it up. He takes a few puffs, and EATS IT. The dude ate a lit cigarette on stage! That's what I call showmanship right there, that's a front man I want to see more of... I feel like I've said this before, but this band sounds exactly like it's name. Foxy Shazam.. just say it like this Foxy Sha-ZAM!!..Their set was over at 10:09. Then the wait for the Darkness had begun.

Hey, message to the dudes behind me-bump me again, and I'm going to turn around and punch somebody. The dance floor is downstairs if you wanna boogie, there was 5 of us that ran up here for a reason-to get away from you idiots.



So at like 10:50, the lights went off and a little intro music for a minute or so before they appeared before us: THE DARKNESS !

Rocking a stache like no other, decked out in an American Flag themed outfit looking like Johnny Depp meets Freddie Mercury. The place has filled out to the gills and going completely crazy.. these people are screaming so loud I could barely hear the notes at first. Started it with “Black Shuck” and went into “Growing on Me” from there. As someone who writes stuff on the interwebs, this point of the show I'm in heaven with a great spot and no event staffers in sight. I'm rolling, I'm gonna get this whole freaking thing! “The Best of Me”, “One Way Ticket to Hell and Back”, “Nothin's Gonna Stop Us”(The music video they release a few days ago), and “Get Your Hands Off My Women”-with the only one I wasn't recording was the new one.

-

To me, this set happens in portions. The above paragraph is me rocking out doing my Social Media Journalistic duties from the 2nd floor leaning over the railing, recording songs like the rest of the room-except I'm not using an iPhone. So this schmuck starts tapping me on the shoulder during “Can't Believe It's Not Love” and demands I put the camera away. Really dude? Again, I can't stress this enough, IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO BRING A CAMERA, THEN PUT IT IN THE EVENT INFO! You can't just make up rules. Besides the fact of all the pot smoke and cigarettes being smoked downstairs. But no, me standing next the mom of one Foxy Shazam's photographers with a little tiny camera is a problem. Screw you guy, you almost ruined my night.

-

It was at that point I realized my kidney's were not up to the task of holding this urine in much longer, and since this great spot has gone to waste thanks to that event staff prick, might as well hit the head right about now. And I promise you this is how it went down, I can't make this up. I run downstairs as I hear that Justin Hawkins is strumming an acoustic, but now I'm on the run to the stall and as soon as I close that door and begin to relieve myself, I hear that the song they're playing is “Holding My Own”.. as I look down and, let's face it, I too am also holding my own. I ran back upstairs because I heard “Love Is Only a Feeling” about to get started and I got up there and couldn't see a freaking thing it's so packed out. I was so mad for that split second I swung my fist towards the wall and almost punched it, I pulled back before I hit it (damn people watching me must think I'm a nutcase). I walked downstairs and sat back to enjoy this great song, and this great night. Eff that guy-I got “Growing On Me” that's gonna have 100's of views by next week. Porks 1, Event Staff 0.

Some bands let you down with their live performance-that is not the case here tonight. I cannot believe this guy can hit those high notes like that in real life-too bad Queen isn't still looking for a front man to tour with-because THIS would be the guy. And keep now I've moved to the bar, and I'm watching the on stage happenings on a flat screen TV. I'm being blown away through a Television! This back end of the set they actually mixed in a few new songs too, that Justin said is on an album they're working on. Good news for us Darklings. “Friday Night”(I love that song) was followed by a new one called “Everybody Have a Good Time”. He said it was “Everybody Have a Mother Fucking Good Time”, but the chorus didn't have the expletive in it, so I'll assume it's not going in the title. “Givin' Up” was in there too at some point, my iPod was dead I couldn't take the songs down in order..Their were at least 2 more new ones in there that we weren't privileged to be given the names of before the night was over. They went off well after Midnight, with “I Believe In A Thing Called Love” being the last song before the encore, and it was already 12:10 by then.

What a night. Feels so good to get back in the swing of things for 2012-as much as I love discussing festival lineups and trying to plan trips to Beale St., it fells so freaking good typing every single word of this as the clock ticks past 5AM. Tons of other shows coming this year, as we try and top last years total of 23: We got DMX coming up, Kasabian at Terminal 5 in March, Local H coming back at the Mercury Lounge in April. Fun times, fun times indeed. But here's something not fun: I have a restaurant to open up in 4 hours-working til 9PM. And you know what, maybe someone get's Merlot instead of Cabernet later because I'm so shot from all this madness... but it was all so damn worth it. Thanks for sticking around for all this jibber jabbar-stay tuned.

LATE

Phish at Madison Square Garden 12/28/11

Tis the season for giving, and if you're this writer, receiving. When given the opportunity to be bought into Phish tonight for their first of a 4 night New Years Eve at Madison Square Garden, how could I pass it up? Before anything goes further we must slurp the Revered Justito, who gifts me with this ticket to the show tonight (and note that his holiday gift is to be mailed shortly), gifts me with the chance to see Phish. I've heard a lot of Phish-surprisingly enough not much of their music. I know several 'Phans' who speak of the band is Christ-like proportions. To give you an idea, the night before the show and throughout the morning I was reading tweets hashtagged with stuff like #OccupyMSG, and #YEMSG. Some folks were camped out all night-and they HAVE tickets. So there's that side of the fence. Then I also have ran into a few friends who behave like, for lack of a better term here, “Haters”, when the band is mentioned. These people would compare a Phish concert to nothing more than a traveling circus of hacky sack and drugs. I chose to walk into this one with a non-bias attitude. I didn't study up on the Phish catalog days leading up to the show-I didn't read blogs or set lists. I'm a fan of spontaneity, that's what the Jay Porks Never Ending Concert Series is all about; so here I bring you the 63rd installment, from the (newly renovated) World's Most Famous Arena-Madison Square Garden in the heart of New York City, for 1st night of the Phish 4 night New Years Eve 2011-2012 run.

I get off the train around 630ish, and literally all I see is a sea of people standing in front of the Garden all holding up their index finger screaming "one?!?-who's got one for tonight?" . Usually I'm at the show with extra tickets and I can't give them away. All sorts of signs suggesting trades-I seriously considered a sign that was a two for one offer with me giving up tonight's ticket for 2 tomorrow night. But I'm already here, so I'm sticking with it.

So a little after 7 I made it up to section 404, row G, seat 9. Holy crap- they sold out the seats behind the stage too ? I've never seen that before done at any arena. Usually they cut that area off the to public. If every seat gets filled(which it should be because it's sold out), we'll have at least 20,000 people here tonight.

At 8:07 We kicked off the night with "Free", "Glide", "Possum", "Cities" and "The Ballard of Curtis Loew".. It didn't even take more than the first half of "Free" for me to begin enjoying myself. What would drive people to hate this? I mean, I guess if you don't like musicians jamming out to groovy tunes then I could see your dilemma. But then you look around and realize this place is packed to gils-not an ass in a seat throughout the place..

The lights are something I've never seen before-how do the lights colors change mid-beam? How do you make the lights look like smoke rings? Haven't seen a light show like this this side of Roger Waters.. And at the beginning of certain songs glow sticks are tossed by hundreds from the 400 sections raining down on the people in the lower levels. An arena wide celebration was what this night was about. My section was getting me a contact high before the set even began(thanks for sharing by the way #Sarcasm), people walking past me behind me asking each other "is that real?" referring to the wall. And I still don't understand how many glow sticks needed to be purchased for the raining to still be going on an hour into the set.

"Stash" and "Contact"(a song the Rev Justito hasn't seen live in 24 Phish shows) followed by "Sample in a Jar", "Kill Devil Falls" and "Bathtub Gin" finished out what was to be Set 1.

So is this an intermission at 9:33? I would assume so considering nobody has left. If I was on a lower level, I'd duck out for a second for a cigarette since there's a Nazi event staff guy who threatened to throw me out if he caught smoking again. So that's right folks, the only person in this building not indulging in illegal drugs is the one who gets his shoulder tapped. Do I have a sign on my back that says "hey event staff please bother me at every show I attend in life!". What the hell man, there is smoke EVERYWHERE, I mean everywhere. There's probably more pot in this arena then I've ever smoked in my life and yet, my cigarette is causing a disturbance to this asshole stuck in a menial service position.

"Birds of a Feather" kicked off set number two at 10:02... And everyone is back to standing up. I tried to tape a couple a songs throughout the evening, but theres like a ceiling a few feet up, so I can't exactly hold my camera above the swaying bodies in front of me. After Birds of a Feather it was "Carini" time, which was followed by "Tweezer" for the foreseeable future-they are jammin' on this one.. This had to have gone over ten minutes (like most of the evening's songs)n"My Friend My Friend" was up next. Isn't the internet a wonderful thing? Without knowing the name of one song coming into this The setlist is being tweeted song by song. Now if only I could get this many web savvy people into the Meat Puppets, then I'd be doing my job as a social media assistant.

Then, wait a second I know this song-a cover of the Velvet Underground's "Rock N' Roll"! Hell freaking yes! This is my FAVORITE Velvet underground song-had I got my camera out quick enough I would've been rolling film. "NICU", "Bouncing Around the Room","Harry Hood", and "Bug" all checked in before it was encore time..

"Tube", "Rocky Top" and "Tweezer Reprise" served as a healthy encore for a "Phuphilling" night of Phish. The night came to an official end at 11:35pm. That leaves us with set one clocking in at an hour and twenty six minutes, and set two was an hour and thirty three minutes. I've seen bands not even play that long for ONE set, Phish come through MSG fries hearts and minds. Walking down the steps on the way out, I couldn't help but overhear two buddies talking about how this was an "old school type of show". As a first timer, I can't tell you if that's accurate or not-the Phans will judge by the setlist.

If you made it this far down, then you've probably enjoyed my first Phish experience, and I've enjoyed having you. Now I bid my readers a goodnight, because as I post this I have less then 2 hours to nap and get to my day job. Life and times of social media rockstar journalism. Again, huge thanks to the Reverend for giving me the chance to attend. Feels good to be baptized in the Phamily... LATE.

SETLIST: Set I: Free, Glide, Possum, Cities, The Ballad Of Curtis Loew, Stash, Contact, Sample In A Jar, Kill Devil Falls, Bathtub Gin

Set II: Birds Of A Feather, Carini > Tweezer > My Friend, My Friend, Rock & Roll > NICU, Bouncing Around The Room, Harry Hood, Bug

Encore: Tube, Rocky Top, Tweezer Reprise

Notes: I have a note to share about the show tonight. If there was one thing I could've done without, it would've been the intermission from 9:33-10:02. I'm not saying it took away from time that could've been spent playing songs-they do this every year I'm sure they can go as long as they want (especially with the Knicks are on a west coast swing)-I just don't understand what was getting done in that half hour. It's not like we can go grab some air here- it's takes like 20 minutes to exit the building. Maybe if I was with Phriends I would've have something to do during that half hour. Oh well, there'll always be next time.

Joseph Arthur, James Maddock Bowery Electric 12/17/11

The 62nd Edition of the Jay Porks Never Ending Concert Series is a special one indeed for a couple of reasons. One, we're heading out to the Bowery Electric (Joey Ramone Pl & 3rd St) down in the East Village for a charity event benefiting the Toys for Tots Foundation( ) featuring the musical styling of Joseph Arthur (and opener James Maddock). Never a bad thing to gain some good karma. Second reason this is special, it's because I've officially taken a semester off of school to pursue my dreams: doing this...fighting on the front lines of the social media takeover of traditional rock journalism as we know it. Anyway, should be a fun night. Doors are at 8PM, show at 8:45PM. I'm off work on little ol' Staten Island at 4, giving me plenty of time to pick up some last minute holiday gifts in Times Square.



Walking downstairs into the Bowery Electric, I enter a room about the size of the one I sleep every night-equipped with a stage. There's a floor that's gonna hold maybe 20 of us, with steps leading up to a bar in the back-theres a railing when you get up there-considering changing my spot when the music comes on. There's a sign that says "Occupancy by more than 108 persons is dangerous and unlawful". Obviously the fire Marshall hasn't been here in a while-hope they're counting heads at the door we're about to eclipse that occupancy.

Everyone I spoke to at the bar and in the room were all here for James Maddock, so when he fronted the 3 piece that took the stage at 8:50, it was to a gracious applause. I taped the first song-Maddock is strumming an acoustic guitar, with a bass player and drummer keeping pace, almost quietly. I've given up my seat and headed to the front of the room to the far left of the stage-now I'm too close. But this bluesy bastard has got me into it! Harmonica hanging from his neck, singing folky tunes sounding so much like Bon Dylan- if Bob Dylan's song were recognizable live. Heads are nodding to a song I'm gonna take a guess is called "When the Stars Align".. They turned me into a fan, and went off around 9:40..



All cards on the table, I didn't know anything about Joseph Arthur until I started contributing to Concert Confessions. Only through the ceaseless praise from Reverend Justito was this show even on my radar. After finding out I was attending a few weeks ago I started listening to all the available stuff on YouTube. Trying to familiarize myself with some of the work, listening to the songs didn't give me any indication that I made the wrong decision here; if anything got me more excited.

At 10:17, Joseph Arthur took the stage with band. And here I thought we were in for a night of slow jams-don't let the wine goblets fool you-roof is about to come off. The girl next to me(who took a bus down from Toronto specifically for this show) says she's never seen him with a band and that it's usually him alone with like a million pedals. He's a got a drummer channeling his inner Keith Moon, and a guy playing an acoustic guitar as he plays a very weathered electric guitar.



Every song, even the softer slower building tunes- had a crazy little effects box jam out portion of it. I taped a few songs, and I noticed them all going over six minutes. Hopefully the girls chatting it up to the right of me don't show up on video. Bout 3 songs in, Arthur addresses the crowd and says "happy toys for tots day". Then he's like "this one is inspired spefically by Toys for Tots.. song's called 'Even Though'"-And before even strumming a chord he smirks and says "yea this has nothing to do with that at all..you totally caught me".





Parts jammy and bluesy-parts distorted pedal busting madness; this night was nothing short of a win. Then, just when I start to really relax and enjoy myself he asks for the time. It was 10:57. He's like "we only have 15 more minutes". Due to venue restrictions, show has to end by 11:15... People in the crowd screamed "Occupy Bowery Electric!"-which was awesome. He played a few more. One being "Fistful of Mercy", and the final of the night being a song about the Occupy movements-which he needed to reach to his iPad for assistance with the lyrics (awesome). After the song, it was like 11:20 and they said goodnight. Couldn't have been more than 12, maybe14 songs at the length they were going. Yet with the sheer epicness in which they were delivered, I felt so fulfilled.



Here's something you don't see everyday: once the guitars were unplugged some guy was screaming stuff toward Joseph Arthur-all I heard was "mother fucker" and the phrase "Toby Keith" repeated as he stormed out the venue doors. Joseph, who is walking right by me as he's exiting stage, looks at me and my Toronto friend and is like "what was he saying?" and I was like "he was screaming something about Toby Keith". He headed off stage. Toby Keith? What the hell was that?? We just had ourselves an awesome night here, and some idiot gets drunk and starts shouting names of terrible artists. I'm so bewildered, I just can't put it together. Hope Joseph Arthur and his band know that there was only one moron in the crowd, the rest of us were extremely satisfied with an evening of good tunes. 



NOTES:
-Joseph Arthur plays City Winery on January 1st. The trooper from Toronto-who I hopefully learn her name by then-says she'll be at that show too.

-I like how they named the street Joey Ramone Place. And by like I mean I think it's stupid. This whole “The Ramones created punk” mystic is idiotoc-bands like the Stoogies and MC5 were playing that kinda music in Detroit 5 years before The Ramones ever took the stage.

-What's up with all these “Rock” venues having performers needing to get off at 11 o clock or even 10 o clock sometimes for “Dance Parties”? There's tons of places in NYC to find a nice dance floor where all the 19 year old girls can go, sniff Percocet and get slutty. Stop taking over the little cool dingy places I'm trying to attend shows-you are f#%king with my sh!t.

The Band Touring as "Guns N' Roses" at Izod Center 11/17/11

The band currently touring under the moniker of Guns N' Roses hits the Izod Center at the Meadowlands Sports Complex in Dirty Jersey tonight for the 61^st edition of the Jay Porks Never Ending Concert Series. The Izod Center: Home of the... well, actually no pro sports teams play here anymore since the Devils moved to Newark and the Nets are moving to Brooklyn (when the NBA Players Association caves and takes that deal). So upon walking in after 8PM the banner hanging from the ceiling was commemorating Bruce Springstein's 50 consecutive sold out shows. It's New Jersey, that banner should say “Will be sold out for the rest of life”. Anyway, you may have noticed my “touring under the moniker” pun back there. We all know the story, I shall not bore you with it once more. Axl is touring, performing the hits of Guns N' Roses with no Guns, and the lone Rose being himself. The only remaining member of the band besides Rose is Keyboardist Dizzy Reed-or who I like to call “The Man Who Killed Rock & Roll”. Doors were at 7PM, and show was listed at 8PM We got to our seats in section 206 Row 20-and let's look on the bright side, at least we weren't in the last row! (we were 5 rows away from it). Those steep steps were a killer. But finally at our seats little after 8, let's do this-it should be interesting to say the least.

It was brought to my attention via Twitter en route to Izod Center that a band called “Asking Alexandria” was to open tonight. Found some post that mentioned the band was “Handpicked 24 hours prior to the show by Guns N' Roses”. Not for nothing, the Axl Rose interview on That Metal Show-whatever show they were at had Buckcherry opening, we get saddled with some band from England I've never heard of.

I kept an open mind up until about they went on after 9-then I heard their songs. Oklahoma got Hinder as an opener-now that's pretty bad, but halfway through this second song I'd kill for Hinder right now rather than this craptastic fiasco. I don't understand a word this dude is saying besides his greeting to the crowd, which me and Pam interpreted as “Hello New York”. I sure hope we heard that wrong. Anyway, with all the screaming the lyrics were incomprehensible. I don't get the whole deep voiced screamer lead singer thing that's become a trend in bands people surround me enjoy. Just vocal wise let's take Mastodon for instance, (not comparing their sound other than the screaming)Mastodon I'm not into because they're a little on the heavy side for me. But Mastodon opened for Alice In Chains and Deftones-Mastodon opened for Soundgarden at the Gorge in an inconceivable for that band sandwiched between the Meat Puppets and QOTSA. Shit , Reverend Justito and even Cris Kirkwood for that matter speak highly of the band. They have acclaim critically and socially. What does Asking Alexandria have? Axl Rose likes them?? If this is what Axl is into then I never wanna get a hold of his iPod. Pam and I discussed if Axl picked a band this band to ensure that his band looks good. But that can't be, the “GNR” reviews from this tour have all been positive. To make a long, really horrific story short-Asking Alexandria, I can make better music than your band. If this was a Tweet, I'd add a hashtag right before the word 'fact' to end that last sentence.

They went off a little before 10 and now we have the wait... the infamous “Will Axl come out?”. The ambiance of this band is it's tendency for the unexpected. They were once labeled the world's most dangerous band.. then they (Guns N' Roses) morphed into He(Axl) and he became a recluse spending 15 years on a secret album with 2 good songs on it after all that. Who knows if this lunatic loses a contact lens before the show and freaks out or something? What if he looks in the mirror on his way out to stage and says “Holy Sh!t I'm Kid Rock” and lights himself on fire? It was an interesting HOUR, but at 11PM the lights went down and it was time to see what we had on our hands-ladies and gentleman, the band currently touring as GUNS N' ROSES!

They had some AWESOME pyrotechnics going on.. and a stage equipped with this staircase... Kicked it off with “Chinese Democracy” which is the title track from the latest effort(the one that took 15 years to make) and its one of the two songs I like, so I taped. Next was “Welcome to the Jungle”, which I purposely wasn't in record-mode for because I wanted to experience this one hands free, you know, like a regular person(besides I know video will turn up- there's a guy a row in front of me with a camcorder-not a little camera, I'm talking screen folded out and all. And he's not even using the hat on his head to block!). Now I don't know if it's the acoustics in the spot I was sitting, or maybe the three guitar onslaught is just overwhelming-but I wasn't hearing his vocals that loud. I hear the band loud and clear-and hey give em credit, no one ever called them bad musicians.. they rocked that sucker out... when they jumped into “Mr. Brownstone” after “It's So Easy”, I was taping and growing frustrated, I hear myself turn to Pam and say “I can't hear this mother f#%ker!”. They got into “Sorry”, and continuing into the next two I'm watching this band like “Wow these guys are tight as hell” then looking over at Axl Rose thinking “What a douchebag”. Then it occurred to me, I probably only like 6 or 7 “Guns N' Roses” songs.. what the hell am I doing here? I'm no die-hard. I was hoping for a train wreck-and they're not complying with my expectations. I think I'm more of an oddball than Axl at this point, being upset about being impressed by the guitar work of “BubbleFuck” and DJ Ashba(shouldn't it be Guitarist Ashba?). But as technically impressive as anyone can be-hell, you could put Eddie Van Halen and Clapton up there-just stop calling it Guns N' Roses. And I don't want to do this..do the whole “it's not GNR without Slash and Duff”.. but if I'm going to get lectures on Sublime w/Rome not being real Sublime and Alice In Chains w/ Duvall not being the real Alice In Chains-then EFF all you people I'm gonna give that same lecture when given the chance-especially when those two bands have more original members in them then the current band I'm watching. The essence of “cool” that is Slash cannot be matched by “Bucketfoot” or whoever you bring in there.

“Better” is also off the new record, and the other one of the two that I like from it (so technically this new Axl band is two for two on stuff they recorded tonight). I taped it, and at this point of the night I really think it's me being a mile away in the 200 section causing harm to the vocal acoustics, because it is skewed as hell up here-and everyone's tweeting about an awesome time. It has to be me. I mean I loved “Rocket Queen”.. but these little instrumental jams they do with each individual band member leading into some cover of another song does nothing for me. I got an idea Mr. W. Axl Rose, why don't you come out and sing “My Generation” instead of Stintson? Do that little “hey-hey-hey-yea-ya” thing you do, you know, the one you ruined “Knockin' On Heaven's Door” with. Dizzy Reed on keys doing leading “Baba O' Reilly”? Imagine Axl screaming the lyric “Out here in the fields!” in that Axl Rose voice-wouldn't that have been awesome? But no, instead this is sort of killing time while Rose continuously runs off stage to change cowboy hats. He had two white ones and two black ones at least.

I mean, they didn't go off til 1:20AM or something, that's 2 hours and 20 solid minutes before the encore, which neither Pam nor I were interested in. So yes, most likely pushed a 3 hour set there-but everyone on stage is a professional musician who I had no doubt would make it through the show, everyone besides Axl. If they would've played 20 minutes it would've been marked as a Win. Axl Joked midway through the set “Yea, I know how you feel I was hoping I'd make it here too” or something to that effect. That's funny? Tell that to the 10 thousand plus fans with tickets starring at them all day hoping you don't freak out and move to South America in search of 'yage' or something. I thought there was no chance this tour made it to the tri-state area, a miracle in it's own right.

Tonight at Izod Center was an absolutely amazing night for Die-Hard Axl Rose fans. You know, women in their 50's plastered up with make-up attempting to hold on to their youth with their Harley riding husbands right by there side. And hey I'm glad to have say I at least saw it.. so I know to like.. make sure not to go next time.

LATE

Meat Puppets @ Mexicali Live Teaneck, NJ 11/6/11

It would've been Doug Sahm's 70^th Birthday today, and what better place to start the 60^th edition of the Jay Porks Never Ending Concert Series the trekking out Teaneck, NJ and Mexicali Live for another shot of the Meat Puppets! They fried hearts and minds this past Friday at Le Poisson Rouge in the city, and upon purchasing the tickets I figured this venue was a lot closer than it was-so how can I turn up this up? 15 bucks? Then to sweeten the deal, my father (Call him anything besides Sr. Porks-he'll kill you) offers to drive me up to the place, bout an hour from my house. PLUS with have Pam(sans van) meeting me here to take in the epic madness that is this band, and she offered to drive me home afterward. Although I've yet to find a cool name (like Pam-Van) for the new Volkswagen Jetta, but I'm sure one will come to me. Anyway, doors are at 6PM, show's at 8, I roll up front around 7-it is party time my friends.

I don't know where they found this place, hidden in the depths of northern New Jersey lays this really cozy, cool music venue/bar/restaurant. I mean, even though I don't plan on eating, as a fat guy it's good to know food is at least available. The have tables set up where you can order dinner and watch from there, but the standing room in front of it would kill your view. Upstairs had a few tables and looked like it could've been a sweet spot to film from, but again you need to order stuff to sit at a table-pshht, please. Saw Elmo Kirkwood at the merch table, had to go over and compliment him on the fine performance I got to witness on Friday.. Shandon passed by, I patted him on the back as I ran out to meet Pam-Curt and Cris where down the block by the van.. In time I'll make it there, in time.

We settled in and actually decided to see what this first band 'Jounce' was all about. Their twitter page describes them as “Not unlike Kings Of Leon”.. Well, that would explain me not exactly being blown away, I mean they were tight and all-lead singer was playing bass.. They played from like 8:03 to 8:49.. but the more interesting part came outside afterward while I was smoking a cig talking Puppets with fellow fans, this dude in the group upon google search says “Hey man you know who the lead singer of Jounce is? It's that kid from the show 'The Adventures of Pete and Pete' that used to be on Nickelodeon in the 90s”.. Now that's hilarious-I mean in good way. I liked that show, and maybe had I known this previously I would've cared a little more about their set! Danny Tamberelli. Wasn't he in those Mighty Ducks movies too? Now he's opening for the Meat Puppets-not a bad deal at all.

Next up was Black Box Revolution, going with the 2 man line-up just drums and guitar. The lead singer had this voice that sounded exactly like Iggy Pop to me-maybe I'm crazy. And during their set I saw someone who was in the posse of laughter outside that was the Pete and Pete discovery standing near by-I leaning in and said “So what-is the dude in this band from the show 'Are You Afraid of The Dark' or something?”. ZING. A timely punchline is one of my strong points. Anyway, these guys played from like 9:09 to 9:50ish..

Main event time: At 10:04 out stroll the legends themselves, THE MEAT PUPPETS!

This whole set had a different feel, even with a lot of the same songs from the other night. I mean, maybe it's Mexicali Live in the air-because after “I'm a Mindless Idiot” and “Coming Down”-we had ourselves a good old fashioned ho-down going to the right of me and Pam. We had a nice spot along the wall so I could take video from way closer than the other night-maybe a bit too close but at least tall people didn't dominate the front row. And I'm right in front of Elmo, who jams out with Cris on this side of the stage. Every time I'm in front of Curt I leave not being able to hear for days, figured a new method should be employed here.

I'm pissed I didn't get it on film, but that had to be a plus 10 minute version of “Up On the Sun”.. it was crazy, it just kept blasting off into space. See that's the thing about this band-every show, every song, every time Curt backs away from the mic and lets loose it's like we blast off into space.. I've never taken LSD, but I'm pretty sure the psychedelic euphoria I experienced tonight is up to par as far as intensity. With no ceiling tonight, they can really get jam out for extended periods on songs. Clocked an 8 minute version of “Backwater” later on in the set. Even with the same group of songs all of this is new to me, and this is my 9^th Meat Puppets show.. Guessed I'm hooked on that drug called good music.

Pam was amazed at my ability to hold a camera and type songs down on my iPod trying to get the whole set list. “Sam” got hectic-this dude was really getting down with his bad self over there, and after the song he looked at me and recited the lyric “That's the way Sam plays around”. Rock on brother-it's all good times. “Where Does a Little Tear Come From”, (which people are crediting to George Jones, but he had just as much input writing the song as did Perry Como-so it's your decision on that one. Great song either way went into, again, on of my favorites they've been playing on this tour- “Open Wide”. When “Sloop John B” started, I turned to Pam and said “it's this right into Lake of Fire”-which is exactly what it was. Lake of Fire had this siren-like guitar effect going at the beginning, which I screaming 'Mind Boggling!' to. Clocked it at 10 minutes and 10 seconds-they rock that bitch out. And here's one thing I find amazing, Curt throughout the show was walking over to Cris and Elmo, while playing and having like, conversations with them. I can't hear myself think, these guys are flying us full speed into outer space while discussing things. I could barely talk and walk at the same time! Genius's. They ducked off at 11:45.

Came back out a few minutes later, and Curt announced that it was(would have been) Doug Sahm's 70^th Birthday today to a load roar of the crowd, as anyone with Wikipedia knows that the drummer of the Meat Puppets, Shandon Sahm is the son of Doug. So they played another fav of mine-”Hey Baby Que Paso” before Curt went over to the drums and was talking to Shandon before giving him a hand wave and walking away to the mic saying “Let's get Shandon to sing one!” and everyone in the building was on board. So out comes Shandon from behind the drums where Curt takes over after handing his guitar off to him. Awesome, this should be fun. Never seen Shandon sing before-if anything this could be kinda goofy. Goofy it was NOT. Wow! Shandon went totally IN on “She's About a Mover”, a Sir Douglas Quintet song, one of the many Doug Sahm projects. And Curt held his own behind the drums as Shandon destroys it over there in Curts spot. When it's solo time he screams “Play some solo Elmo!” to which Elmo shreds for a few. Listen to that video I posted one time and tell me that's not in your head all day. Shandon says “That was for Pop!” and Curt comes out and says goodnight to us.. Great song, great end to an amazing night.. it was about Midnight.

I got what I'm calling a partial set list because I think I'm missing one or two here that I didn't write down... And I have video of what I think was “Going to Graceland” that I kept rolling into “Wasted Days and Wasted Nights”, but I'll need to upload it and have some troll correct me just to be sure. What a two show stretch.. Wish there was another show in town I could catch-I could do this every night of my life!

Partial Set List missing a song or two probably

I'm a mindless idiot
Coming down
The monkey and the snake
Up on the sun
Touchdown king
Plateau
Lantern
Sam
Lost
Where does a little Tear Come From
Open wide
Oh me
Backwater
Seal Whales
Orange
-Going to Graceland(?)
Wasted days and wasted nights
Sloop John b
Lake of fire

Encore:
Hey Baby Que Paso

She's About A Mover (Shandon sings/guitar, Curt on drums)

Puppets Take Manhattan! Meat Puppets 11/4/11 @ Le Poisson Rouge

The Meat Puppets return to NYC in this edition( the 59th) of the Jay Porks Never Ending Concert Series which takes us to "Le Poisson Rouge" at 158 Bleecker St. Doors are at 6:30- show's suppose to start at 7. The deal is, there is a "dance party" scheduled at this same venue at 11PM. Lets see how this plays out.

Never been to this venue before. Found the place at almost 7 and headed in to check the room out. You walk in and the stage is immediately at the door to your left. Bar along the back, nice cozy room here. There are tables, but those are at a 2 drink minimum-and at this place that means $24. Seats not worth that much- especially with the 11pm party-it's already 730. I've stood for way longer than this before-this day in history-fat guy passed on seat.

Chatted with Elmo Kirkwood, Curt's son, outside the place before his friends showed up. Elmo used to have a band called Kirkwood-Dellinger that broke up and for this leg of the tour, he's with the Meat Puppets as a 2nd guitarist...as I told him- " to add a little extra oomph to this party".. I went to hang by the merch table after that, chat with some fans and hopefully run into some of the 100000 people I've been telling about this show for weeks. Noticed Curt walking around outside having a conversation with someone, and Cris also walked by me outside.

Found drummer Shandon Sahm inside. We got to talking a bit before he went backstage. Then Cris came out and was taking pictures with a few folks. I didn't wanna go over there at first because I remember the first time I met him-and I woulda been pissed if someone who's already met him several times came over and ruined my glory. So when the smoke cleared I walked over, we got to talking. The show at the Gorge was brought up, and Cris says to me “You know what band I was really diggin? Mastodon!”. Where ever I go, Mastodon will follow me. So he heads backstage, and is holding the door open for me, like to come in. REALLY?!?! Is this real life right now? So I head back there to see a relaxed Curt smoking a cig, Cris goes to pluck his bass around and Curt was saying how they had to go on asap after Dex Romweber Duo(the opening act I missed, but had SEVERAL people on the line tell me that Dex was the greatest thing since sliced bread, so Sunday I'll pay attention) because they had to be off by 10. Noticed Curt's Les Paul behind me-this will be the first time I've seen them live on the east coast where he isn't using the teal Strat. Interesting. Dex came backstage as he was finished, it was a little past 8 and I told the boys to have a good set as I was to run out for a smoke before they kicked things off. Before I left, I ran into Sean Yseult, The original Bass player from White Zombie. Cool chick too.


Anyway time for the main event as around 8:30 out come the legendary Meat Puppets! Led off with “I'm a Mindless Idiot”, “Touchdown King”, “Plateau”, “The Monkey and the Snake”.. This place is rocking-the sound in here is amazing, I'm all the way in the back(of this tiny room) taping with the coat check guy behind me, who has already stated he doesn't care what the hell I film. Great. I didn't catch “Coming Down” in time to get but after that they kicked into a triple shot of “Sam”, “Lantern”(from the new record Lollipop) and a cover of “Wasted Days Wasted Nights”(Freddy Fender) -all of which are uploading to YouTube as I type these word. Lantern is a great track-glad they're playing it on this tour. And I'm so pumped about hearing Wasted Days Wasted Nights live. That was freaking amazing.

“Oh, Me” was even extra powerful with the filthy licks of Elmo Kirkwood filling out guitar parts to just let his father shred. I present example A as the 8 minute version of “Up On The Sun”, which towards the middle always gets crazy regardless, now has an added twang to it. This is my 8th time seeing the band and they get more intense every time. Lyrics get screamed louder, guitars get louder, songs get heavier-and every single second of it is magic. To go from “Up On The Sun” to “Seal Whales” seamlessly may seem somewhat challenging to the laymen yet the legends Kirkwood(and Sahm) make it look easy.

Here comes my favorite moment of the night: “Hey Baby Que Paso”...another Freddy Fender classic, and a song I've been singing to the kitchen staff a work since I saw video of them doing it at SXSW. Love that damn song. Taped it, followed by “Light” and “Open Wide”. Open Wide was insanity. Then, I was able to be the first to have a 'Live' version of the song “Orange”(off of Lollipop) on to YouTube. I'm a mad genius at work taping mad geniuses at work. “The Whistling Song” and “Shave It”-another newbie but goodie followed.

Closing in on 10PM now, and what else to do now but bust out the Perry Como? Yea that's right, my grandmother would be proud she loved Perry Como. Anyway, the song is “Where Does a Little Tear Come From?” and it's awesome. And afterward they had a little blues jam going for like a minute, and recognizing the time, and the chords sort of, I knew it was 'Backwater'- a face stomping version of Backwater finishing off at precisely 10PM. But wait, Curt puts his glasses on at this point, and we're jumping into another tune past curfew. Not one, but TWO no less. It was the Beach Boys “Sloop John B” which lead right into a blow your mind version of “Lake of Fire”, to end the night at roughly 10:10.

The mother fudging Meat Puppets-changing my life every time I see them. I don't even know how I can improve my state of mind any more than I did tonight by seeing the boys tear down NYC yet again. Wait, I know the perfect thing to top this off-How bout I see them again Sunday in Teaneck,NJ at Mexicali Live?? Two words: Hell yes.

Catch you early Monday morning-LATE!

Ween @ Hammerstein Ballroom 10/31/11

Happy HalloWEEN!! The greatest night to walk around in New York City-people in costumes everywhere; Lions and tigers and bears oh my. And most importantly, the female version of every Halloween costume-something straight out of the Victoria's Secret catalog. Wasn't a hard decision at all to make the 58th edition of the Jay Porks Never Ending concert series “An Evening with Ween” at Manhattan Center's Hammerstein Ballroom. The “An Evening” billing means there are no openers for me to offend, so it's straight up doors at 6:30- show at 8 o clock. Pumped would be an understatement.

The line to get in already had stragglers on it at 5:30 when I got off the train. With a Quiznos across the street, I grabbed a sandwich (which was terrible-but this isn't Fast Food Confessions) and headed over towards the line. Figured I'd chat with my fellow Ween fans while we wait for doors to open since I'm not usually around people who know what bands I'm talking about. Everyone's got a different song they want to hear, or a different story about a past epic experience(like last year a Central Park). We share the common bond of acting like giddy little girls waiting to get in. One girl (who's was in a 'Where's Waldo costume NOT Harry Potter like every passer by thought she was) said she's had a boner for this show for weeks. Me too. . At about 6:45 they let us in, and I made my way to Section 103: Row D, Seat 5 and surveyed my view. There's pillars at the end of each row blocking the view of event staff, and the seats elevate every two rows so if I keep my camera close to my chest, I shouldn't have any incidents like at the Beacon

Shortly after 8 here comes Ween, walking out on stage in skimpy sailor outfits. It took me a couple of songs to get settled in, but "Homo Rainbow" was 2nd or 3rd- and it took me right back to Chef-Aid from South Park. I say "took time to settle in" because section 103 is being taken over by the crowd like a prison riot. The seats were like, individual(as oppose to movie theater style), so the first few minutes of the set we all were stacking up the chairs in each row creating a standing room only mezzanine section boarded off by towers of chairs. It was insane-the ushers have disappeared. It was like school with no teacher, like work when your boss is away, like inmates in a prison with no Warden.

The scent of pot is everywhere, and I'm looking around for where it's coming from. The couple next to me pretended it wasn't there's , although I watched them lighting bowls. It's cool, welcome to the "Jay Porks Hates You" club-you've joined a large group.

The place was crazy. Everyone jiving to the likes of "Mr Richard Smoker", "Transdermal Celebration" A bunch of us including me screaming for 'Put that Coke on My Dick', as I hear one guy telling his friend “That's my mom's favorite Ween song! It's gross” .Then after "Fat Lenny", just when I thought this place couldn't get any more rowdy, it was time for the roof to come off: "Touch My Tooter". Hell freaking yes!

I swear they must has ran through almost every song I knew the name of before 10 o clock. I couldn't even believe how on fire I was til for a while there. Dean sang us "Piss up a Rope".. And "Buckingham Green" with the green lights bouncing off smoke surrounding the Deaner-man am I glad that went down. they played "Bananas and Blow", which was good for the group 5 people with a costume theme: 4 bananas and one guy as a big bag of Cocaine-Halloween brilliance right there.

“With My Own Bare Hands” preceded “Spinal Meningitis” then “Your Party”. I've got to say, Ween throws some awesome parties-especially when I get to hear them cover Bowie's “Let's Dance”. Then caught by surprise with “Voodoo Lady” following, glad I still had my camera up and ready. Is it always a 10+ minute version of the song? Because my camera has it clocked at 12 minutes 8 seconds. Mind you that it's like, not even 10 o clock at this point.

After “Stroker Ace”, I went four straight songs I either didn't know the name of or I was just too overwhelmed (in a good way) to remember what the name of the song was. After that “Mollusk”, “Scrap the Mucas off my Brain” and “Push Th' Little Daisy's” brought me back to the realm of songs I can sing along too. Another song sneaked in before we got into “Roses are Free”, and they went off stage at 10:47. Wow, an Evening with Ween.. unbelievable.

Wait a second-ENCORE?! Hell freaking yes. Central Park last year they didn't encore due to park regulations-but non such elements here at Hammerstein. And besides, I honestly believe chairs would've been thrown off the mezzanine if they didn't come back on. These were some intense folk-the prison riot analogy was half kidding, but after a night of 'Ween and Other Drugs' (you love my puns), sh!t could've gotten dangerous up in Section 103. I believe it was a 3 song encore, the one I was really into and remembered was “She Fucks Me”. At 11:07 they bowed and officially said goodnight.

On Halloween 2011, Ween came to town and played a three hour set. It's 4:30AM as I write this sentence, and I'm still putting the pieces of my face back together that were melted off during the duration of this show. I got plenty of videos, and they'll be uploading to my YouTube page tonight and tomorrow. The audio is good. Check up for that.

Now we turn the page to November folks, and if I wasn't already moist you'll never believe what's on deck for the weekend. The legends, the one and only, THE MEAT PUPPETS! This Friday at Le Poisson Rouge 158 Bleecker St in the city and then I check them again Sunday with my friend Pam in Teaneck, NJ at a place called Mexicali Live. I will have more content from that weekend than I can even envision right now, but what I really envision is a nap before I have to head to work at Noon tomorrow. This was fun-check you soon. LATE

Weird Al Yankovic Rocks the Beacon Theater 10/23/11

If the purchase of these tickets didn't give way the fact that aside from music played at high volume with guitars I'm an avid fan of comedy, well there it is. And Music, Comedy AND seats? How could the 57th installment of the Jay Porks Never Ending Concert Series land us anywhere but the Beacon Theater tonight to witness Weird Al Yankovic on the Apocalypse tour? How can you pass up a night of parodied hits? Wouldn't be able to live with myself starring at that Amish Paradise CD that sits on my shelf.. Doors are at 6pm and the show is at 7pm. I was sent an email from "Madison Square Garden Events" (MSG owns the Beacon) with the 'show info'. Whenever I look up set times online they're never right- but since they specifically sent me this email alerting me that there's no opening act and the show starts at 7, I'll try my hand at slipping out of work early(if not for any reason but to hang Meat Puppets “Lollipop” posters up in Manhattan and on the ferry before I get in... This should be fun times- I never been to the Beacon before- let's pop this venues cherry...

So walking in at 6, I was greeted at least three times on my way in. "Hello sir, Welcome to the Beacon". Usually it's like 'sir let's pat you down then talk'- I didn't even get searched, and I got this big roll of scotch tape hanging out of my pocket. Anyway, so I stood by the door to my seat (Loge seating), and even tho I'm inside- the "house " doors don't open til 6:30..

This place is vintage, much like"Town Hall" except bigger ..Got my eye on that Jack Daniels behind the bar before I head 'in'.

7:03 I'm making some observations here: No. 1 This place is half empty I really hope it fills out. And No.2 it's 7: 03 and the lights aren't even flickering on and off indicating that the show is started. If we're going on after 7, don't send me an email that says to be in my seat by 7 is all I'm saying. But gazing around,

I have to say this place is second to only Radio City Music Hall in classiness-I'm usually at dives like the Mercury Lounge or Gramercy.. I feel under dressed here (besides the kid outside with his parent wearing the "That's what she said" shirt on.

I got the shoulder tap during "Polka Face", the first song of the night. You have got to be freaking kidding me. I've seen video on YouTube from every Weird Al show, last I checked that was a choice made by the performer; and I didn't see any signs.

The evening went on.. With the various costume changes, I knew that the big video screen up there would be put to good use. With every wardrobe change brought us another humorous video, whether it was an old snippet from MTV with Weird Al "interviewing" the likes of Eminem, Jessica Simpson, Keith Richards, Celine Dion, etc. Or clips from old TV shows and movies where he's referenced or appeared (which was way more than I expected). Also a mock trailer for a bio pic titled “Weird”, in which I saw “Funny Or Die” in the credits-this guy gets around.

What's not comedy is the "Loge" section (under the balcony but a level up from the floor) being half empty. Not the first time my fellow New Yorkers have disappointed me.

Later on, a suited up Weird Al is rocking out to "Party in the CIA", then "CNR", a parody 'in the style' of the White Stripes, not a song specifically. It's hilarious, and about Match Game resident panelist Charles Nelson Reilly. I honestly found myself laughing out loud a number of times tonight.. "Canadian Idiot"? Now that's comedy. I seriously would've tweeted out an “LOL” like a 5 year old if my phone wasn't dying by that time..

At some points the videos would set up the songs, like from the Simpsons when Homer (portrayed as a Kurt Cobian-like character in this specific episode) says "he who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life". That's when I took another stab at recording, with "Smells like Nirvana". It was early at this point, figured I had a few more warning taps before this staffer starting getting serious. So I was able to get it. I mean what's this guy gonna do, throw me out?

I'm not a fan of mashing a bunch of songs into one, which is the only "on stage" occurrence tonight I was disappointed with. We went from an 'Eye of the Tiger' parody called “Theme From Rocky XIII{Rye or the Kaiser}parody right into "Spam"(REM-Stand) into "My Bologna"(The Knack-My Sharona) into"Spiderman"(Billy Joel-Piano Man) into "Lasagna"-probably missing one or two there that I didn't catch, but each of those songs lasted no more than a verse and a chorus.

Then another run backstage and some new gear-this time a tight red leather jacket for "Eat It"(Micheal Jackson-Beat It) then the lights go down again and some more video is shown, leading us into the title track from the only Weird Al Yankovic record I have- Amish Paradise(Coolio-Gangsters Paradise, coincidentally I also have the Coolio album that song is on). With the music video in the background, and the crowd going wild- I had to make another attempt at recording..

Then after another round of the lights going down, the band came out to perform "Craigslist" (Doors Parody).. I gotta say Weird Al was in"channel" mode up there doing his Jim Morrison , with the jerky movements and looking like he's sobbing into the microphone. Then Al runs off stage and comes back out in a peacock outfit(with long wings and everything) as they played "Perform this Way"(Lady Gaga-Born This Way).. A song later he introduced the band, who jammed out for like 2 mins after Al introduced them.. Said goodnight- it was about 9..

Lights are off, crowd is chanting "We want more! We want more!".. I've seen chants for encores before but I think this is the first time everyone in a venue agreed to a common phrase..usually it's just walls of noise til they come out. Encore? Weird Al? I'm not too sure about that one..

And I wasn't- because they did come out for a few more. Here comes the Segway! We're getting "White N' Nerdy" up in here, and it's awesome( if I said I tried to tape it and got tapped on the shoulder again by that same guy would I be getting repetitive? Buddy, what don't you get? You should Google search "Social Media" you waste of life.. I don't get why these guys just can't look the other way-people are trying to run (and contribute to) websites here!). Then he changed into a fat suit for "Fat"(Micheal Jackson-Bad) before it became Star Wars time, ending the night with "Yoda" at 9:18..

I left this show a little more fulfilled then I thought I would. But I needed answers, on my way out the door, so I found the staff guy who kept tapping me telling me to stop taking video. I wasn't an asshole about it(like I would normally be), I just said “hey man I didn't see any signs and I Weird Al was posing for the cameras up front so what's the deal? Is it a venue policy or something like that-I know you don't make the rules I'm not trying to harp on you or anything”. His reply was simple as we walked, “No not at all its not a policy, but you know it's kinda tacky sitting there taking video” and just as my head is about to explode I realize he's not walking WITH me he's walking me to the door, and before I could reply he nudged me out the door and headed back inside.

Sorry but can I rant in caps for a second? WHAT?!?!? It's NOT a venue policy and it's OKAYED by the artist but I was tapped on the shoulder based on the PERSONAL OPINIONS of an employee of the Beacon Theater? YOU THOUGHT IT WAS TACKY???? IF I WASN'T SO AFRAID OF POLICE AND GETTING ARRESTED, YOUR TEETH WOULD'VE BEEN DROPPING TO THE FLOOR LIKE TIC-TACKEYS. You schmuck. Look, I understand this concert video recording stuff is borderline and everything, with the changing media times.. but if your boss gave you no instructions to stop people from recording-then why don't you just let me do my job here. I'm running out of words, the video saves me endless paragraphs...

Anyway, I usually don't rant at the end, my bad. But besides that moron who worked there, the rest of the night was far better times then I've had in a while. Weird Al Yankovic has combined two of my three favorite things: Music and Comedy. And obviously by the decades of putting out albums, I'm not the only one who thinks he's awesomeness in a can.

Hey do any of you have Halloween plans? How bout you come out to Hammerstein Ballroom to see the epicness that is Ween with Jay Porks? Oh wait, it's sold out. Shucks. Well, you can ride shotgun with me reading that review hours after the show. An Evening With Ween.. get the humus ready.