Foxy Shazam @ Bowery Ballroom 05/16/12

 

Usually for me, the opening bands at shows are a time for me to get annoyed-quickly. Yet somehow back in February when I saw The Darkness, there was just something about Foxy Shazam. Something about them that made me want to learn more. How long have I been missing out on this? Then, the band headlined there own tour and hit the places like Seattle, and Utah where I was able to read more about the Church of Mother F%#king Rock & Roll. Then, out of no where comes the Bowery Ballroom in NYC, who announce a Foxy show at the cost of, brace yourselves, $17. That my friends is a baptism fee I'm willing to pay. So let's kick back, and enjoy this little journey out to the Lower East Side, 6 Delancey St, for Foxy Shazam, Doors at 7, show is at 8. And hey, it just wouldn't feel special if it wasn't The 69th Edition of The Jay Porks Never Ending Concert Series. Let's hope for a spot up on the balcony so I can tape.

Got to the venue at 6, and I'm no where near the first one here. Seems the high school crowd cut out of their afternoon classes and head to this 16+ event. Usually young girls like garbage, so I'm glad they're here to be baptized tonight. I grabbed my spot upstairs at a table and saw my two compadres from the line downstairs(who were kind enough to offer me some Mary Jane). So I shouted to them "hey, I got two seats up here", to which they came up. They bought me a jack and Coke for it. Sweet. New York Rivals(who I thought were "Rival Schools" ) came on at promptly 8PM. I don't know how to put this, but I'll try. They seemed to be way heavier than they needed to. They were loud in a Weezer-esque sense, with the lead singers pants clinging to his legs like Yosemite Sam's jeans.   Towards the beginning of the set they said they'd be playing Bamboozle. I shouted "who wants to see Bon Jovi?". This guy belted out wuss tunes over instrumentation that was almost good if it was alone. The one time this dude mentioned the name of the song they were gonna play he was strummed over by his bassist.  They went off at 8:36.   Finally after waiting what felt like forever, the lights go down and ladies and gents, we have FOXY SHAZAM! The band hit's the stage at about 9:20 maybe a little before to a resounding ovation as Eric Sean Nally grabs the mic and screams “ I FEEL LIKE A CHOCOLATE BAR!” as they opened up with “ Welcome to The Church of Rock and Roll” (while he pointed out some dude's Cincinnati Reds hat) and “Holy Touch”. Two things I notice at the same time: One, the whole set is getting taped. I got my arm resting on the railing and all that, and I've got a bird's eye view of the only event staffer in sight. Second thing was how hard is it to keep a camera on Eric. To the regular fan, everyone knows his on stage antics do not include standing still. My wrists got a work out with my lens dancing with him all night. He's like Iggy Pop minus the blood and Peanut Butter.  

I was once told there was no such thing as a 'Happy Panda'. Well, take a look at the keyboardist Schuyler Vaughn White for a few minutes and tell me that's not one happy panda right there. The beard that's a grizzly Adams-ZZ Top hybrid brushing the heads of fans in the crowd repeatedly while smiling for pictures (even looked up at us once), before and after he floated his keyboard out on the audience from time to time. When I first saw them I thought it was one of those stupid hydrolic set ups but then I realized this dude is just bad ass and he lifts it every which way / direction that is imaginable. He stands on it, stomps, lays sideways on it. Then for the unimaginable, him and the keyboard set sail into the crowd. Crowd surfing playing keys. Are you kidding me right now?

  Songs like “Oh Lord” and “Unstoppable”, and of course the epicness of were crowd pleasers mid-set. Eric at one point said “Nowadays music really sucks. It feels good to say that. You should say it as much as you can” I shouted “I try! I try!”. If we're gonna get into crowd pleasers than we have to address my personal highlight, and that's when they played "I Like It". I flipped out simply because, come on, when else does a white dude like me get to verbally express his enjoyment of big black asses? I got to shout “That's the biggest Black Ass I've ever seen and I like it! I like it!” out loud and not get punched.   During the duration of the set, I had a cigarette placed on the table in front of me ready to throw on queue. One of the dudes I was up there with kept telling me "throw it!". I kept putting it off, I didn't want to interrupt any of the funny speeches. Then finally, before the last song, he ends his soliloquy with "and the man asked: does anyone have a cigarette ?". Hell yeah I do! I tossed it down on stage left handed and it landed behind him. He already had a full pack of Newport in his hand, but he's looking around on stage and grabbing all he sees, including mine! We were screaming, probably hear us in the video(don't leave me comments about it). Then he lit what had to be 5 or 6 at once in his mouth and puffed before turning them around and sticking them down his throat. Eric ate my cigarette! Unreal.   By nights end, Eric was asking if we liked his jacket (which I made a mental note of how cool it was when they first came out), then informed us: “I know Rock & Roll is dead.. But that doesn't mean we can't dance with it's fucking ghost!” and that's when it was time for “The Only Way To My Heart”-basically the song that got me hooked on Foxy the first time, is now serving as a merely the cherry atop of some of the best cake I've ever had.   So for those keeping score, end of the show was “The Only Way To My Heart”, then “Temple”, then the “drunken guy” soliloquy in the middle of Temple, followed by eating cigarettes while dragging out the end of Temple. With the keyboardist on the floor of the stage collapsed with his rig laying on top of him, the band made their way off stage as Eirc grabbed the mic to leave us with one final message: “If I was able to get into people's minds and make them decide things it would be easy to be the biggest band in the world” as he slams the mic down and the house music hits. My name is Jay Porks, and I went to attend sermon at the Church of Rock & Roll and have been baptized. Late.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mike Watt & Friends 05/02/12 - Le Poisson Rouge, NYC

Mike Watt & Friends 05/02/2012

Le Poisson Rouge -New York City

Words/Photos By Jay Porks

Tonight is going to be a treat to say the least. “Tonight 'Three Rooms Press' presents: May Day 2: Mike Watt + Friends w/ Mike Watt + J Mascis + Murph , Appomattox , Dead Trend and the NYC Launch of Mike Watt: On and Off Bass + very special guests”. How could I not go to this?? Especially since I got the Flu (which I'm still laboring from) at the Melvins/Unsane gig and with no medical insurance took the safe route and made the sacrilegious decision to leave the show midway through-Didn't even see the Melvins. So All Apologies on my end, that's something that will not happen again. That's what made me get these tickets, because I felt I needed to make up for missing the Melvins. What better way then Watt From Pedro? And Le Poisson Rouge no less? At 158 Bleecker Street this is where I saw The Meat Puppets back in November tear the roof off this place. Small venue, and I arrived first on line as usual, about 6 with Doors at 7, Show at 8. Spotted J Mascis outside around 6:30. This night could get interesting..So let's kick off the 68^th Episode of the Jay Porks Never Ending Concert Series, I promise you this is a good one!

Once I nabbed my spot up front I was ready to rock and roll. Last time I was here there was a “Dance Party” scheduled for after the show. I'm not sure what the case is tonight, but they moved quick in setting up and being ready to roll by 8PM. Three Rooms Press put this gig together so there is this woman introducing the bands and hyping up the aforementioned publisher. She thanks us for coming repeated, etc. Anyway, she introduces a band called Dead Tread and 8PM. I would their sound as “kinda punky” if you times what's in quotations by 11. I saw a 12 song set list and I was pissed. I thought we were in for some 40 minute set. Get this, these dudes may not have even had a song that clocked in at over a minute. The took their shirts off, this dude screamed at us. Songs called “Lunch lady” if my vision serves me right. They played from 8 to 8:17. Twelve songs in 17 minutes then the guitar player who has already broken two strings takes his guitar and slams it on stage. Freaking awesome! Someone screamed “You guys suck!” after the set, and the drummer said “Tell us something we don't know”.

At 830, Brooklyn's own, Appomattox hit the stage. Introduced as "Mike Watt's favorite band from Brooklyn".. They were a lot more towards the side of traditional rock and roll and weren't punky at all as Dead Trend was. Their songs had hooks and stuff, and the lead singer was switching off between keyboards and guitar. They played about 25 minutes and the last song they played, "Radiator", is available to listen to on the web( so they say) they went off at 8:55..   There was an interview with Mike Watt before he went on "with friends"..I filmed it, so I figure why write about it when I can show you. There's some hilarious stuff in this. It's worth the check out.

Right after the interview, Watt headed towards his bass to start setting up. JM and Murph come on stage and set up quickly. It seems J has found a new bag in which to keep his effects pedals because he usually packs a hefty looking case where this was able to fold up easily when they went off later. Maybe it's the “Non-Dinosaur Jr” pedal board, he probably has tons. There's a few things I've been wondering since I bought this ticket yesterday: Whose catalog are they going to be dipping into? Would it be more Minutemen stuff, or will they mess around and do some Dino stuff too? Who is singing? Few minutes before 9:30, and those questions were about to be answered.   When the lights dimmed and the show got started, the dude who's gonna kick off the night on vocals was unknown to me, but thanks to comments left by awesome people reading, I now know that was Don Fleming (of Gumball).  The riff was familiar, but I couldn't hear any lyrics because, I've AGAIN made the mistake of place myself an arms distance from JM and his amps, giving my eardrums a beating. This is the kind of pain I enjoy, as I realize it was “Real Cool Time”, a Stooges song! I was floored when they played “TV Eye” next (John Petrovic from Cobra Verse  sang that), because now I get it. We are gonna jam out to Stooges songs all night with Watty's mean bass plucks and JM basically turning his 6 string into a blow torch that blew the minds of us close enough to be completely taken in by it. I love the original versions, but hearing JM's take on it was like something you can only imagine. You don't get these types of shows at the big venues.

Just when I thought things couldn't get better, here comes out on to the stage none other than Thurston Moore (of Sonic Youth)! Thurston! Seriously!?! Is this “fill the venue with my favorite musicians” night or what? They played “Loose”, another Stooges cover as it was confirmed that this is Stooges tunes all night, and I'm freaking creaming my pants over here third song in. Steve Shelley, also from Sonic Youth came on stage to drum on “Dirt” next. The vocalist was an unknown to any of us, only reference Mike Watt made to her was “J's friend”. Come to find out that was Sharon Von Etten  In a night of uncertainty at first, rocking out throughout the evening over everything, was the man who was on Bass, and that's Watt From Pedro (his twitter is @wattfrompedro ). The bass lines were prevalent everywhere. Every time JM took his foot off a pedal you hear that funky bass riff bouncing all over the place.

When it was time to play “Down on the Street”, Thurston Moore made another appearance. After that, I see this kid come up on stage with lyrics in his hand. It's Kurt Vile. I've heard of him, but never heard his stuff. He held his own on “No Fun”, even though is that really the song you need the lyrics for? That's barely a critique, just an observation. Did I mention I was rolling film throughout the duration of the evening? Yea, I got the whole set minus about a minute from the encore because my 16 gig Memory Card was apparently full. The encore was Thurston returning to the stage to do an epic version of “Funhouse” , and I saw myself with the rest of the crowd moving towards the exits at 10:26PM.

Set List(Mike Watt was kind enough to Tweet this over):

Real Cool Time with Don Fleming TV Eye with John Petkovic, John Maloney on Drums Loose with Thurston Moore, John Maloney on Drums Dirt with Sharon Van Etten and Steve Shelley Not Right (watt on vocals) John Maloney on Drums Down on The Street with Thurston Moore, Murph on Drums No Fun with Kurt Vile, Murph on Drums 1970 with Noel (former soundman from the Continental on vocals) Steve Shelley Little Doll (Watt on vocals), Steve Shelley Fun House with Thurston Moore and John Petkovic on Clarinet LA Blues - with Byron Coley and John Petkovic w/ Murph & John Maloney on Drums

Jeez, that was so awesome. Like, I wish I could put it to you in a intellectual sort of way but I can't. Mike Watt, J Mascis, Murph, Thurston Moore, Steve Shelly, Kurt Vile came into Le Poisson Rouge and jammed on Stooges songs on a Wednesday night in New York City. What more could you ask for?   Late.

Local H at Mercury Lounge 4/15/12

I have no idea why people don't support/know of this band. In my seeing the Zion duo and it's no secret that New York City hasn't gotten the full Local H platter the last 3 visits to town. First it was way back when they opened for the dreadful Electric Six at Webster Hall, then the next time they played, Livenation bumped them out of the building early due to a Midnight Showcase the Stone Temple Pilots had scheduled at the same venue a week prior to the Local H gig. . Finally there was around this time last year, where Local H came to the Mercury Lounge and rocked out yet another “early show” . That's not the case tonight as we head back to the Mercury Lounge(the SOLD OUT Mercury Lounge), and we have Local H here with no time limits, no 'Early show', no album themes (even tho I did think that was cool). Tonight is Local H untamed, and you bet I'm freaking psyched for it. Adding to excitement, the opening act besides “The Apple Bros.” is, none other then Scott Lucas, who is said to be performing solo acoustic 'Scott Lucas and the Married Men' material. A Scott Lucas double dip, it feels like my freaking birthday. Ticket says doors are at 7:30, but I'm getting there as early as possible and snag a spot up front as usual in the latest episode(67) of the Jay Porks Never Ending Concert Series.

So I got to the venue at 5:30. Yes, 5:30, two hours prior to doors opening. I have this extra ticket that I hope I could give away, so what's the harm in being 1st. Wasn't 1st anymore after a walk around the block as there are two dudes who are about to become my friends(one wearing an Elephant skull cap, you may want to take note of that hat) standing on the line wondering about Will Call and what the story is there. Again, doors not open for another 2 hours.

Sign you're on line with people that know music: my Meat Puppets shirt was immediately recognized. Then my buddy who I met at the Lemonheads show arrived. He was here last April when Local H played, but we didn't know each other then. So the 4 of us kicking it before the show, we're all sick of seeing epic video from epic Local H shows at the Double Door, or whatever other places in Illinois they play, and not getting a chance to have one of those memorable experiences in NYC. We gotta move to Zion. They opened up the doors at 7:30, and within seconds we were in the spot we'd be spending the next 4 hours or so.

Scott came on at 8 o clock with his acoustic guitar and a chair(the chair which was used to place his drink and phone on, not for sitting) and I'm just so damn excited that this is going down I almost forgot to mention the biggest adventure of my night-my new camera! Now I can get video in this venue that you can actually see (or so I thought"Extra Special Bitter" was second, and that's my favorite Married Men tune. A couple songs later he played a song called "Blood Half Moon", (the single off the new Scott Lucas and the Married Men record) where towards the end of the song, a slow rhythmic clap begins with a couple of people in the crowd. Scott during a pause says "No" to the assistance as we all laughed. Song ends and Scott looks at whoever started that and says "Thanks Dolche Gabana asshole for fucking up my pretty song. Is that what the DG stands for, Dick Gump?" Finished that set off with "Hey Rita" and Johnny Cash's "Ain't No Grave" .He played from 8pm to 8:35pm. Total of 7 songs, and notes that he'll be back at this very venue in June with the Married Men. I have a feeling all of you will be reading about that experience right here, at Concert Confessions (and JayPorks.Com!!!)



The second opener (or the only opener not a member of thr headlining band) The Apple Bros came on at 8:44. First thing I notice is their front man has a lefty guitar that he's turned upside-down and re-strung.. To that i say, don't they have tons of right handed guitars for sale already?I found myself throughout the set trying to find reasons to make fun of these guys, (like I did in one sentence ago) But whatever these guys are playing, it's not terrible. I've seen way worse opening acts then this. There were 10 songs listed on the set list paper in front of the bassist(none or which I could read the name of!). They had to have played more-they came on 15 mins earlier than scheduled, and when off at 9:26

Shortly, like within minutes after Apple Bros. went off , the post-grungers scrambled to get their gear set up on stage. Then at 10 o' clock folks it was time for the headliners: St. Clair and Lucas, LOCAL H!

They started played lots of new stuff tonight. Last year they played us 2 new ones, and this year they started the show in full effect with it.. 'Cold Manor' came second, and being such a fan of this band obsessing with YouTube watching my own taping of this song last year, I'm already singing along to this song and it hasn't even come out yet. And last year was on a crap camera, this thing I'm wielding is real deal, . Then drummer extraordinaire Brian starts poking at the lights. Remind you folks this is a bar with a room in that back that just happens to have a stage-it's about the twice the size my living room. It's not like, a “light show” more then it's just generic lights hanging maybe the band gets to pick the color who knows. Anyway, Scott asked them to dim these lights and now after the 2^nd song in I'm back to basically the same lighting if not worse, then last year. That was a serious “FML” moment right there.

It's my favorite line and you'll see me write it every time I see this band. 'The man I despise but the song I adore': “Eddie Vedder” kicked off the first back to back of old school tunes of the night when it was followed by “Everyone Alive” before we busted into another newbie: “Paddy Considine” then the ever so epic “Hands on The Bible” before another new one that Scott said was “about Fox News”. Not sure if that's the name of the song. But during Hands on the Bible, oddly, when the lyric “A pretty baby never born”, the New Yorkers let out a light cheer. Hooray abortion? Anyway, there's two kinds of people at Local H shows: Intelligent folk who grab their spots up front quickly. That's my little outside clique from earlier and the rest of the people along the first row. Then behind that you have these people who behave like psychopaths-the people who think Local H is like a heavy metal band or something and they're here to slam dance and mosh. They f%&ked stuff up, including lifting two of the tables used to support amps onto the stage, and it wasn't a direct hit, but a drink was tossed in my area. Turned to the hot chick next to me and mouthed to her “what the f%&k?” as she was also bewildered. One drunk dude got on stage and wanted to stage dive(the entire 2 and ½ feet up on stage) and Scott literally just pushed him off stage. It was awesome.





“Another February”, which is another one off the new record was next up. Usually bands piss me off when they play a bunch of new stuff at a show, but the new Local H material is freaking incredible and I cannot wait for that to come out. But next they played “Fritz's Corner”, “All The Kids Are Right” and “High Fiving MF” back to back to back next and by the time we got to High Fivin' that place was back to being exactly what that song is about. The lyric “Highjack the pit you shit!” while these assholes go bananas is life imitating art. That had to be the biggest hit of the night with them. With me, the biggest hit is also this song, because right before Scott starts singing (about 55 seconds in on my video), he leans towards my camera and taps it with his guitar-he knighted my camera. Wonder if he remembers me from last year.

“California Songs” was another heavy hitter right towards the end when they went into “Bound For The Floor”, and in the middle of the song the gave us a little shot of the Stooges “T.V. Eye”. (Hopefully a Local H's Awesome Mixtape Part Two coming soon?). Oh and remember that elephant hat I mentioned earlier that one of my new found buddies was wearing? Yea, that's Scott wearing it, at the end of the Bound for the Floor video Lucas mentions how cool the hat is. It was a great night, I just really wish it wasn't so damn dark!

So long story short, Local H comes to town and Scotty Lucas gives us a double dip. I'm still trippin' on that "Ain't no Grave" he busted out during the acoustic set. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'll see these guys every time they come to town. There's a band that gives their all every time.

I've already passed out on my keyboard several times writing this, so internet trolls please feel free to point out punctuation I may have missed. So next time you'll be reading me is two weeks from today, when we hit the Melvins at Webster Hall..

LATE.....

Kasabian @ Terminal 5 NYC 3/22/12

They've have finally returned to America! That's where Episode 66 of the Jay Porks Never Ending Concert Series kicks off, bringing us to Terminal 5 in New York City to see the one and onlyKasabian. This is a special night for all of us fans out there who've waited for this band to return to the United States. Facebook groups have been started, Twitter accounts have been created, all in efforts to get this band back to U.S. Soil for the first time in 5 years. So when a tour was announce a few months ago, there was no question that I was on my way here tonight. I kinda feel bad for my man Reverend Justito, because he turned me on to this band and I'm getting to check them out live before him on this tour. It's alright, he get's them at Coachella and an LA date that week-PLUS, he and the rest of the world get to watch this concert stream live online. YouTube in conjunction with the Bowery Presents have made it possible for tonight's proceedings inside the epic Terminal 5 to be broadcast around the world. The event is sold out so without tickets I hope you all are getting ready to do it up Couch Tour style, as I try to coax my coworker to let me leave work early, so I can get that sweet spot on the 3rd floor left of the stage I love so much. Doors are at 7, show at 8. I want to be on that line at 5:30. This night is too important to have some hipster from Williamsburg standing in my favorite spot. Maybe I'm over playing this, maybe I'm not. Only one way to find out......

So I arrived at the line at 5:23.. That's right I said line- I guess 2 and a half hours was not early enough to land me 1st on line. At 6 they opened the doors and shuffled all of us upstairs to the rooftop smoke deck-stairs leading to a 2nd deck actually.. Benches, bathrooms, a bar. Hell there's even a video screen if people wanna watch the show from up here. Anyway, they roped off the rest of the place, and now everyone formed a line up here in hopes of snagging their favorite spot up front. 3 different people asked me whats the best spot in this place-I gave them 3 different answers.

So at 7 when all of us were let in, the mad dash began. People must not read enough of my reviews: if you're going to a show a Terminal 5 I don't understand why you wouldn't head upstairs to get a nice railing spot on the 2nd or 3rd floor.. I mean I'm looking directly down at the stage, unless you're one of those 1st 20 or so people who gets a front railing spot the 1st floor is pointless. Anyway, I'm overlooking the stage from the 3rd floor. Not only a perfect view but a chair ALONG with an ottoman. So with my feet up in total relax-mode, time to wait for Hacienda, the opening act listed to go on at 8PM..


Promptly, Hacienda came on at 8. 4 man piece, with a keyboardist, they hail from San Antonio and have been on this entire U.S. tour supporting Kasabian. They bassist and guitar player switched off vocal duties-it was almost like 2 different bands depending on who was singing which song. They weren't bad, the guitar player had some filthy licks when the song called for it. The 45 minutes flew by. They were off by 8:45..

You can feel the anticipation building as the stage was set up, all the camera were checked, more tweets hashtagged Terminal 5 were being tweeted. At 9:10 I'm thinking to myself "Wow this is gonna be freaking CRAZY!"



At about 9:20, out came the main event: KASABIAN. And they came out with a thunderous "Days are Forgotten" followed by "Shoot The Runner". I was mesmerized. For once in my life I can say I was around when New York City decided to get into good bands- the building was literally shaking. A crowd that was frozen still during Hacienda's opening set was jumping around, slamming into each other. Everyone in unison just making the most of every single second they had in the building with this band. It was awesome.

Now all good comes with bad, right? You would think so-but that was surely not case here at Terminal 5. After "Underdog" was the 4th song in, I pretty much thought I was done with the songs I liked. I knew they had "Re-Wired" on previous set lists, so I waited. But as I did they played more amazing songs that I found myself to really be enjoying while taping, I mean more so than I would have. "Thick as Thieves" was the only jam tonight to have the acoustic guitar involved, and that's the point where you look around and think to yourself-this is way better than advertised!


Then I remember we're being live streamed on YouTube- the whole world is inside Terminal 5 tonight. Did you see us rocking that place out? Hell, even my hidden spot on the 3rd floor got packed with people standing on chairs trying to see over us along the railing. So I guess that "showing up late to avoid the opener" plan backfired. Sucks to be you-but if you Bump me again, and my elbow meets your chest.

"Re-Wired" eventually came, but before that it was "Club Foot" (isn't that song in a commercial? I'm too familiar with it for it not to be). I want to say this about every song, but the house was seriously about to come down during Club Foot. It just seemed to get louder and louder in there as the night went on. "Man of Simple Pleasures" and "LSF" were played towards the end of their set before the encore. The place got increasingly louder with screams while we waited for the band to come back out.

“Switchblade Smiles” was absolutely insane when they kicked off the encore with it. The colors-their light show is really cool the way it bounces off the walls of the tight, yet roomy Terminal 5. This was the perfect venue to have them perform, and they put on a flawless set that left everyone in the place trying to regather themselves outside; trying to comprehend the epicness they have just witnessed. I don't think there's anybody in the world who thought this show would be so... so... well 'Perfect' is the only word that comes to mind. . Ended their flawless evening of tearing down Terminal 5 with a 7+ minute version of “Fire”. Incredible.

I've seen some shows, but this is like top 5 in “Live up to the hype”. I mean I've heard the band on record and I enjoy them. But live, it's a whole different experience. So much energy, so much ferociousness, and most importantly, having so much damn fun on stage. In five years when they come back to America(Let's hope it's not that long!), you can already book it that it'll be on the Jay Porks Concert Calender..

LATE

Concert Review: DMX @ SOB's 2/23/12

There's a venue in New York City located at 204 Varick Street called S.O.B.'s that will probably not show up in any more Jay Porks Experiences... We're here for DMX's Return To New York City Presented by Ghetto Metal ( Twitter: @ghettometal) tonight. The SOLD OUT S.O.B.'s I should say, as the tickets for this 400 person capacity venue are gone. I remember in High School circa 2000 when I was introduced to DMX in a music class-not by the teacher but by an obnoxious kid sitting back rock with headphones on reciting the lyrics live from I.S. 75. I mean, if you're going to be screaming lyrics out in class, I think those were the most explicit one's you could have picked at the time.. The delinquent was booted from class, and I found myself adding another artist to that “Handful of Hip Hop Artists I would go See live” list. So the 65th installment of the Jay Porks Never Ending Concert Series brings back memories of Slaughterhouse last year , at SOB's, (which at the time I considered) an awesome venue. Just a big room: Bar in the back, a stage that's literally three steps up from the ground, dinner seating to the left of the stage, and the back stage area being downstairs-which leads the artists to no choice but to come through the crowd to enter. Awesome. I mean, the only way this night can go bad, is if there's like 40 unnamed openers that perform til midnight. Whatever “Ghetto Metal” means, I'm pretty sure that whatever happens tonight, my buddy Chach (@oneshotchach) gets the blame for dragging me to this one. Doors at 7:30, show is at 9PM.

We get in, go up against the stage next to the the stairs leading up to it. Cool. Good spot. TONS of press here, I mean everywhere I looked someone's got one of those thousand dollar cameras. I mean the whole shebang-the flash extension thing-a-ma-bobs attached to Nikon's and Canon's surrounding this room. For a place with no special press area, I was puzzled. Then Chach informed me of DMX's interview on Power 105.1 earlier this morning (video above) which I just watched and now totally understand the hype now.

So here's something unexpected: instruments on stage. Drums and amps set up for, like, a band. Maybe this is the “Ghetto Metal” they're talking about. And another shocker, show is said to start at 9PM, and a band hit the stage at 8:04. Cool, let's get this started early, is this 'Bazaar Royal'? They're the only opener listed. No it isn't at all. It's a band called “Murder League All Stars”. Make fun of the name all you want, but 30 seconds into their first song they were already better then Limp Bizkit-True Story. They had a bassist, guitarist and drummer rocking out while a two man lyrical attack that had the funky rhymes a la Beastie Boys combined with a splash of band like the Deftones. Both guys were rapping, but they were also screaming at heavy volume at times too. Me, Chach, and the photographer chick representing The Source magazine were really digging them...

The next band up, still pre-9pm, was, and forgive me for the botching of the name I was really being pushed out of my spot during this time towards like, behind the DJ rig where I was going to have zero video chances. I think it was “A the Future Featuring A.D.D.”. Back up singers on stage, another guitar player and drummer, along with a violinist, and a female up front singer who's hot. Then the lead singer/rapper dude comes out in a 'Misfits' jacket. They were groovy too, but what the hell is happening here? I'm in the right place right-this is the DMX show? At Hip Hop shows I always feel like I'm out of my field of connoisseurship, but this felt like the norm to me. They played a few quick ones because noted that they were off at 9..

Right during this break they're setting up another bands gear on stage and we're wondering if this is like, maybe the back up band for DMX or something, because obviously Bazaar Royal must not be playing, we've already seen two bands. It's at this point I'm beyond the point were I can see the stage, as people who have no concert manners like to shove themselves to the front with little regard to the people who stood outside over an hour and have been standing in this spot for an hour and a half already after coming here straight from a 11-4 waiter shift... People almost got punched tonight, but this when I told Chach I'm gonna stray towards the back for DMX scout a better spot while he snaps shots on his iPhone.

So we wait, and we wait and then at 10 o'clock Bazaar Royal comes on. And if this dude doesn't even deserve my words but I'll have them none the less. First let me say that everybody in the band backing Bazaar Royal was tight as freaking hell. They did some cool stuff, a six stringed bassist. Open letter to those musicians: Get away from that guy. Every time you started to nod your head with the band this dude's obscure voice ruined every song. Not Eddie Vedder ruined, but I really don't get what he's trying to do, and I don't think he does either. Before the last song, chants of D-M-X started, and his repsonse was “Hey! Show some fucking respect! Because I'll keep you waiting. If you don't like my music you can find me downstairs or outside..” That's not exact but it's the jist. Is he implying that I should fight him if I don't like his music? First of all, you have no talent. Second off, you have ZERO taste in music and I can tell. The DMX chants started right after him and his band did a cover of Kings of Leon “Use Somebody”. And I'm not talking “hip hop sampled and made a new song out of it” cover-the band played it straight. I should've gotten that on video, it would've been viral for sure- but I was too busy screaming at the top of my lungs: “Holy F#&king God ARE YOU SERIOUSLY PLAYING KINGS OF LEON RIGHT NOW!?!” repeated to everyone surrounding me. People I know(not by choice), who don't like Hip Hop even for a second have told me that the perception is that their fans have bad taste in music. Well, when these fans heard Kings Of Leon being covered, the whole building knew it was about time for this dude to bounce. So Bazaar Royale, or Royal or whatever the hell it is . Don't you EVER disrespect people at a concert for wanting to the headliner. You mentioned how you been with DMX since day one and all that stuff-yet I've never heard your name in life dude-and I listen to a lot of music. You have the nerve to step on a soap box (metaphorically) and annoy the hell out of the 400+ people the squeezed into this place. This schmuck didn't go off til 10:50.

That's when I high tailed it outside to smoke a cig, and I noticed that if the fire Marshall showed up he's shut this place down. I can't even get out the door. Finally did and a dude leaning against the door asked me if I needed any Heroin. What the hell goes on with life?? I got away from him quick and got back in to eventually find a spot on the same side of the room but in the back, I'm probably 20-30 heads back from Chach at this point, and any videos I want to take are blocked by tall people. My arm hurts.

For the last two paragraphs of stuff that annoyed me, this night was a serious win. I mean I was having a great time for those first two bands, and at 11:38 the night go that much better, when there he arose from the basement: DMX!

Kicked things off with “One More Road To Cross”.Now this is fun. The whole vibe of this place is shifted. We're all here looking at the stage and seeing DMX perform for the first time in New York in years. A lot of us first timers, he did nothing short of give SOB's everything he had. Pulled Swiss Beatz up for a few tracks including “Ruff Ryders anthem” and “Get it on the Floor”. Rumors had it that the Lox and Drag-On were downstairs set to appear, but that didn't matter. We're getting the DMX greatest hits set here. As much as my arm hurt from stretching it up for my camera, and as annoyed as I would normally be when people sway their hands in my way-when “Party Up” came on I was glad Chach dragged me to this. “Lord Gimmie A Sign” and “What They Really Want” were crowd pleasers.

Let's not underestimate the humor of DMX. I mean, he was smiling, cracking jokes, passing around a bottle of Hennesy to the crowd and telling everyone to “Sip and pass”. Also the way he talks, with the growl serving as periods on sentences Awesome. Another phrase that was scream out by DMX throughout the evening “Flesh of my FLESHHHHH” (before he would do a song off of the “Flesh of my Flesh, Blood of my Blood” record). And “It is NOTTT a F#%king GAME!!”. While the set was reaching it's end I heard people behind me talking. They were chatting between songs and the beat came on for the next one and the dude says to his friend “Wow DMX has SO MANY great songs!”. To quote Ed McMahon “You are correct sir”. The night ended in the darkness when X instructed the house lights be turned off and everyone hold up ligthers and cell phones, and that's when he ended the evening with “Slippin'” I clocked it at a 12:56AM ending.

Can't ask for anymore then that. See, when I went to see Joe Budden at Irving Plaza he rapped like one verse a song and they'd switch the beat up and stuff like we're listening to the radio or something. DMX came to SOB's and left it all on stage. He was certainly not just going through the motions. It was a great show.

I'll hopefully have some more video uploaded before the day's end, I got some queued up.. thanks for tuning in.

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Review: The Darkness w/ Foxy Shazam 2/4/12 Irving Plaza

On the same evening that New York Jets Running Back Curtis Martin get's elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame, can you believe that's only the second best thing that happened today? Well, The 64th installment of the Jay Pork Never Ending Concert Series may have had something to do with that. Tonight brings us to Irving Plaza in NYC for an epic evening with The Darkness! Along with Foxy Shazam (Which 'thenaturalstoner' praises for their latest stellar release), and I believe some other band they threw on the card that will be named in the next paragraph or so. This is great for so many reasons. First trip back to Irving Plaza since the Joe Budden debacle, and as I recall I noted to show up earlier this time and make it a must to get a better spot. Irving Plaza is also the venue me and my friend Pam scalped the fake Alice In Chains tickets and got beat on 100 bucks. Bad things have happened here. But, it's the freaking Darkness! A band that people don't know til you sing them the chorus from “I Believe In A Thing Called Love”, and even then they snort in derision. “You're going to see that band?”. Yea actually I am. I can recall actually having a professor of mine at the College of Staten Island last semester breakdown the Epicness of the Darkness to some classmate who claimed they were a “one hit wonder”. That teacher said he'll be in attendance tonight, and I will be looking for him(Brian Cogan author of many books available on Amazon, including the “Encyclopedia of Punk”). So there's that and hey, it's our first 2012 show-time to get back in the swing of things. I kicked it off huge last year with GWAR, and I expect The Darkness deliver as well (Well, except the “one of the guys in the band dying” part anyway). So let's get this show on the road shall we?

So after freezing outside on a line for about an hour, they decided to open the doors. I happened to be standing next to a couple outside who I got to chatting it up with. Totally cool people, it was all laughs and talking past show experiences. Love that shit. And it was either Connecticut or New Hampshire they were from I can't remember because I'm a terrible friend. But I know they were in a hotel and I know they were nice enough to warm me up with some of their Jagermeister while we waited for doors to open. Awesome. Finally some people who are friendly! I'm standing next to someone who says there is a second opener in addition to Foxy Shazam. I'm sure as hell hope not. Anyway I was able to snag a standing room spot upstairs, so video is happening tonight (we hope).

At 9 on the dot, a band fronted by a guy wearing rainbow zebra pants hit the stage. This band turned out to be Crown Jewel Defense- they've been on tour with Darkness overseas they say, and by the looks of their wardrobe I believe them. These guys look like before they formed this band they played as a Darkness cover band the way everyone's pants hugging testicles. I mean, these guys aren't that bad- they're tight as a band. This guy has painted lines under his eyes like a Native American chief or something. What the hell goes on with life? A whole 24 minutes of their set went by fairly quickly, before the last song there was chants of "No more songs!" from the Irving Plaza crowd. Wasn't me this time I swear.

Foxy Shazam came out at 9:40, and were totally freaking cool from the get go. Lead singer grabs the microphone and says: “I know Rock and Roll is dead but that doesn't mean we can't dance with it's fucking ghost!!”. Hell yes! THIS is a band I can get into. They kicked it off with a song called “The Only Way to My Heart”-you had me at “The”! The lead singer jumps on the lead guitarist's shoulders as he's playing his little solo part, humps the back of his head. They got what I thought was hydraulic keyboards going on over there, but that was just the dude enjoying lifting it and moving it into obscure angles, including upside down to end the set. He was standing (and stomping) on that keyboard for a while there. Their lead singer is something else. All over the place, crazy swinging the mic-stand around and catching it.. Little bit of Iggy in him,

you know, minus the blood and peanut butter. During the set he asked if anyone in the crowd has a cigarette, he was tossed one with a light and lit it up. He takes a few puffs, and EATS IT. The dude ate a lit cigarette on stage! That's what I call showmanship right there, that's a front man I want to see more of... I feel like I've said this before, but this band sounds exactly like it's name. Foxy Shazam.. just say it like this Foxy Sha-ZAM!!..Their set was over at 10:09. Then the wait for the Darkness had begun.

Hey, message to the dudes behind me-bump me again, and I'm going to turn around and punch somebody. The dance floor is downstairs if you wanna boogie, there was 5 of us that ran up here for a reason-to get away from you idiots.



So at like 10:50, the lights went off and a little intro music for a minute or so before they appeared before us: THE DARKNESS !

Rocking a stache like no other, decked out in an American Flag themed outfit looking like Johnny Depp meets Freddie Mercury. The place has filled out to the gills and going completely crazy.. these people are screaming so loud I could barely hear the notes at first. Started it with “Black Shuck” and went into “Growing on Me” from there. As someone who writes stuff on the interwebs, this point of the show I'm in heaven with a great spot and no event staffers in sight. I'm rolling, I'm gonna get this whole freaking thing! “The Best of Me”, “One Way Ticket to Hell and Back”, “Nothin's Gonna Stop Us”(The music video they release a few days ago), and “Get Your Hands Off My Women”-with the only one I wasn't recording was the new one.

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To me, this set happens in portions. The above paragraph is me rocking out doing my Social Media Journalistic duties from the 2nd floor leaning over the railing, recording songs like the rest of the room-except I'm not using an iPhone. So this schmuck starts tapping me on the shoulder during “Can't Believe It's Not Love” and demands I put the camera away. Really dude? Again, I can't stress this enough, IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO BRING A CAMERA, THEN PUT IT IN THE EVENT INFO! You can't just make up rules. Besides the fact of all the pot smoke and cigarettes being smoked downstairs. But no, me standing next the mom of one Foxy Shazam's photographers with a little tiny camera is a problem. Screw you guy, you almost ruined my night.

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It was at that point I realized my kidney's were not up to the task of holding this urine in much longer, and since this great spot has gone to waste thanks to that event staff prick, might as well hit the head right about now. And I promise you this is how it went down, I can't make this up. I run downstairs as I hear that Justin Hawkins is strumming an acoustic, but now I'm on the run to the stall and as soon as I close that door and begin to relieve myself, I hear that the song they're playing is “Holding My Own”.. as I look down and, let's face it, I too am also holding my own. I ran back upstairs because I heard “Love Is Only a Feeling” about to get started and I got up there and couldn't see a freaking thing it's so packed out. I was so mad for that split second I swung my fist towards the wall and almost punched it, I pulled back before I hit it (damn people watching me must think I'm a nutcase). I walked downstairs and sat back to enjoy this great song, and this great night. Eff that guy-I got “Growing On Me” that's gonna have 100's of views by next week. Porks 1, Event Staff 0.

Some bands let you down with their live performance-that is not the case here tonight. I cannot believe this guy can hit those high notes like that in real life-too bad Queen isn't still looking for a front man to tour with-because THIS would be the guy. And keep now I've moved to the bar, and I'm watching the on stage happenings on a flat screen TV. I'm being blown away through a Television! This back end of the set they actually mixed in a few new songs too, that Justin said is on an album they're working on. Good news for us Darklings. “Friday Night”(I love that song) was followed by a new one called “Everybody Have a Good Time”. He said it was “Everybody Have a Mother Fucking Good Time”, but the chorus didn't have the expletive in it, so I'll assume it's not going in the title. “Givin' Up” was in there too at some point, my iPod was dead I couldn't take the songs down in order..Their were at least 2 more new ones in there that we weren't privileged to be given the names of before the night was over. They went off well after Midnight, with “I Believe In A Thing Called Love” being the last song before the encore, and it was already 12:10 by then.

What a night. Feels so good to get back in the swing of things for 2012-as much as I love discussing festival lineups and trying to plan trips to Beale St., it fells so freaking good typing every single word of this as the clock ticks past 5AM. Tons of other shows coming this year, as we try and top last years total of 23: We got DMX coming up, Kasabian at Terminal 5 in March, Local H coming back at the Mercury Lounge in April. Fun times, fun times indeed. But here's something not fun: I have a restaurant to open up in 4 hours-working til 9PM. And you know what, maybe someone get's Merlot instead of Cabernet later because I'm so shot from all this madness... but it was all so damn worth it. Thanks for sticking around for all this jibber jabbar-stay tuned.

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